もう蛙の

Apologies for the lack of posts recently. Be assured that Hokkaido was amazing, Universal Studios astounding and life with my family could not be better.

Last week in Japan now and with parties almost every night, and preparation still unfinished, there is much ado.

The tanuki continues to read to me nighty and we are currently enjoying Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice upon my request. 

Tonight will be my last time seeing the members of IHouse. Though much of my time with them was spent wandering somewhat aimlessly in my mind and between the comfort of home and IHouse for study, they are a wonderful bunch and shall be sad to leave them. Hardest of all will be Yoshida-san, the carer of IHouse who now keeps my previous Sai-chan. 

Enevitability, the same that brought me back to Japan, will again take me away. Enevitability that reminds me that all troubles will end eventually , holds that pleasant things will do likewise.

So much learned. So much yet to learn.

Here we go, last time through the days.

金、土、日、月、火、水、木、

Next week they will have a different name.

Shall hopefully post once more before leaving so keep an eye out for that last post. ^_^ 元気でね

Long time no post

Well, everything to be sent is sent and everything to be tidied has been tidied. Living with my host family again which may explain my lack of posts. No need to post from heaven. ^_^ Will also release my previous two posts that are still unfinished as you may wish to read them despite their incompletion.

 Sent my ailing computer Charmander home to Australia as it would only prove a burdon with it's overheating and resulting battery problems, thus no more pretty photos until my return home. My apologies for that.

Has been an interesting few weeks since finishing the semester just before Christmas. Mostly just enjoying some slow time in which to think which has been pleasant beyond belief. Getting stuck into some new manga and back into my adventuring. Rearranged my Pandora bracelet and took a trip to Tokoname to buy a new bowl to fill the place left by one that, much to my dispair, broke a few weeks ago

Currently reading -

Noragami 

Mahotsukai no tsuma (Magicians Wife)

Devils and Realist 

Bloody Mary 

Today included reading at Starbucks for 3 hours (finished almost two manga) followed by an adventure to the biggest Book Off in Nagoya, Jingu Mae. 

17th-19th. This weekend I'm heading up Mt Koya (finally) for the weekend, leaving on Saturday at 8:00am from Nagoya station and returning at 4:00pm on Monday. Decided to take the kintetsu to give more manga reading and window gazing time.

20th is my last official day of living in IHouse and thus a trip shall have to be made to hand over the keys and say bye bye. Not particularly sad as here feels more home than there ever could have and all my things have already been removed from the room.

21st will see me heading into my old school Ooka Gakkuen after a meeting with Hiramatsu-sensei ( Hirama-chan) on 12th. Really looking forward to catching up with any remaining teachers from 2009 and meeting the new students who only know me from stories. ^_^ Legands if you will. 

22nd Misato is coming over and we will make gyoza for everyone and various handicrafts. Planning to buy some felt as it's always fun to work with.

Wishing to head to Universal Studios to view a special Evangelion ride from the 23rd, though not sure which day.

Many thanks to those two continue to read my blog and a special thanks to my little sister Ainsley for the hand painted card. ^_^ Shall try to keep you up to date with my adventures, though minus the pretty pictures. Sorry >.<

New Years + Music close to my heart

New Year's Day 

It's snowing again. Thismorning and yesterday it was sunny and fine, blue skies all around, though just now it began to snow. 

We feasted on many things including oseiji ryouri, the box of assorted foods to welcome in the New Year.

Omairi - hatsumode- first temple visit for the year

Waking up at 4:30, departing at 5:30. Snow still fluttering about as we climbed into the minivan, 6 people had become 5 as Aunty was unwell with a cold. Listened to music from the moment we left, watching the crisp, fresh snow be revealed gradually by the rising sun, it's colours a glorious wash of colour from the deep blue of morning. One of the most beautiful sunrises of my existance so far proving to be an apt beginning to what would become one of the most profound days of my existance so far.

Listening to Alex's music mix, each song unlocking access to moments and memories and allowing the chance for quiet reflection. Please allow me to share some with you. ( roughly half)

Thousand Beautiful Things - Annie Lennox:  the struggle to get up each day those first few homesick weeks. 

Who Are We Fooling - Brooke Fraiser: understanding the heartbreak of Jamie. 

For Today I Am A Boy - Antony and the Johnson's: the truth that it's perfect fine to be Bastien, the genderqueer.

Memories Of Green - Vangelis and Oror/Lullaby - Isabel Bayrakdarian:  my calm on those late nights half asleep completing homework.

Radar - Katie Noonan: facing the truth on the flight over, looking out to the little red light on the wing, realising it's no longer in my power to physically hug my friends when my only wish may be to do so. 

A Coral Room - Kate Bush:  those memories from childhood that will always stay with me. Knowing that those memories are never far away.

Idaho - Nerina Pallot:  hopes leaving Canberra.Escape from a painful place to find myself in this new chapter in Japan.

The Beautfiul Girls & Girls - Asian Envy:  walking through Osu Kannon in Lolita, World Cosplay and crouds wearing my quirky yet stylish fashion and knowing everyone can see my desired western features.

Off the Dancefloor - Junkie XL:  that evening at Cube with Alex. :D

The Golden Path - The Chemical Brothers:  that feeling like tredding in the middle of my exchange when that Golden Path seemed to have completely vanished.

Taking My Time - Asian Envy: Few months in, towards the beginning of exams, my reminder to look after myself and not to panic.

Nothing Really Matters - Madonna:  the recent revelation of the truth in this song. Reflections on how nothing will be as helpful in overcoming past issues as progress towards a brighter future with the pasts lessons in mind. 

Give Me Love - Ed Sheeran: Facing a year virtually alone,  this song reminded me in those brief moments allowed to feel, that my shut away heart was still yearning for love. 

Ever So Lonley - Sheila Chandra: Seperation anxiety.

Into The West - Annie Lennox: that moment at 5am when the sky is beginning to lighten, my head finally hitting the pillow after a hard night study.

The Careless Kind - Infusion: Complete loss of caring, loss of emotion during those middle months. 

The Ghost Inside - Broken Bells: That point of submersion. Giving up being happy for the sake of causing as little frustration to the Japanese people. Desire to be cookie cutter. Loss of self.

Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap: lying on the carpet in the sun, wondering what was happening to me...feeling like the sun hiding behind a dark cloud. But knowing this was nessesary.

Kaval Sviri - touching something brighter, like light beams through those clouds. Often danced. ^_^

Another World - Antony and the Johnsons: Placing Australia into a box, piece by piece during those first few months. Hoping it would be worth it.  

The Irrepressibles - Two Men in Love: reminded me of beauteous love, wishing to proclaim it to the world, though fearing the danger that bond would face.  Love this song so much.

Don't a Give Up -Peter Gabriel: Tears on the pillow. Long nights of deep thoughts. That quiet voice in the cold loneliness. 

Love Me like a River Does & Deep Within The Corners Of My Mind - Melody Gardot: Dreams of that love, soft and continuous. "Just be my friend" ( You know who you are)

Trout Heart Replica - Amanda Palmer & Grand a Theft Orchestra: those days questioning myself. " Am I a bad person?" 

Forget the Past - The Irrepressables: Coming to terms with the heartache bit by bit. Closer than my first desperate flee at the beginning of the year, though still in the process of viewing the grief. This song speaks your name, despite not being able to speak it myself for many months.

Beauty of All Things - George: Small happinesses in each day that kept me going.

Stay - Rihanna: such a powerful song. My love, this one is for us.

Closer - Lovers Electric: Paws.

Into my arms - Katie Noonan & Karin Schaupp: Failing my test, coming home, calling you to apologise for my failings, though you just told me everything was going to be alright. The sunlight was bright through my tears. 

Have To Drive - Amanda Palmer: Losing control of my fantastic logic and ability to make myself happy.

Struggle - How To Dress Well: Beginning of second semester realizing that one semester of struggle was over, though another was soon to begin. 

The Enchantment - Sheila Chandra: my beyond wonderful friend Alex and his encouragement. You always call me Senti, the spirit fox, reminding me of my most beloved form and it's glory. So grateful.

Carmen - Lana Del Rey: reminded me of myself. Carmen. Hiding from intense pain behind this seemingly perfect always smiling facade. 

Take My Soul - Theivery Corperation: explanation is very dark, though somewhat obvious considering the song title. Ask me separately if you wish to know.  

Heart's A Mess - Katie Noonan & Karen Schaupp : Dear tanuki, this is the song of this point in the exchange. 

Hometown Glory - Adele: end of summer holidays, contemplating the concept of "home" and realizing my lack of one. Consoling this thought returning from life with family to my solitary dorm room.

あけましたおめ〜でとう

新年あけましておめでとう皆様。

Spending New Years with my wonderful family, the same warm and welcoming family that 2010 was welcomed with. My host family and their extended family trusted me with their ikebana this year. Feeling rather flatted.

Awoke at 10:30 yesterday morning to fulfil a promise to wash the giant black stone at the center of my families house. Was quite a lot of scrubbing though with all my effort (一生懸命) it became very shiny and finally game me a chance to touch the stone. Achievement unlocked. 

After completing the rock cleaning, flower arranging and sweeping all the floors, Nakako and myself waxed all the floors. This was also quite a task, though Mum was more than pleased with our effort and it felt good to know we helped. 

To feel this sense of belonging is truly a wonderous thing, especially after a difficult few months which left me pondering the very nature of "home". We ate sukiyaki, we laughed, we felt like a family and it felt like home. ^_^

Just got home from hatsumode ( first shrine visit of the year) which began at 12:30 after watching the New Years music special on tv, then changing into my New Years sheep jacket which had been my project for the past few days.

As we were the last visitors before they closed, the first shrine gave us extra servings of warm azuki and mochi :D. At the second shrine Nanako and myself had sake and were given chocolates. The third shrine was small and we ate ika.

Instead of wishing everyone well a set 12 month period , my thinking is to extend that positive thinking to remind everyone that there will always be someone wishing for their happiness in every moment in this loneliness epidemic.

Wishing for your happiness always. ^_^

"Happiness, I wish you happiness. Truthful, uplifting, fulfilling happiness in every aspect and every century, decade, year, week, day, second, moment of your life."

10:46 - Facebook 

Special thanks for 2014

This is Luke English, otherwise known as Nuki-sama, Saka or bakanuki. My continued existence over the past few months has been to a large extent, thanks to this guy. Though many have contributed to helping me through this time of learning both academic and personal, there should be special thanks afforded to such a dedicated and outstandingly positive influence in my life. Nuki listened to my winging and reassured me even when things were dark, that we would have brighter days. Thankyou for your time, for the books, for your patience, for the company, thankyou for your existance. 

Hoping for your continued companionship on my travels through life.

The day that wasn't before it was.

11:30 am- was woken up from a wonderful dream involving a dove stroking my cheek with its wing, by Nuki-sama. Euphoric.

11:35 - realized it was the 25th. Tried desperately to go back to sleep. Depressed.

11:40- Ignored a Skype call. Realized it was from my sister so spent some time text chatting. Slightly better. 

12:00- Gave up trying to sleep. Decided to go into Sakae spur of the moment. Resentful. 

1:00 pm - Go to 7 Eleven to withdraw overdue rent money. Blank at my pin. Card locked. Gave up and caught the bus anyway. Disoriented. 

2:30 - Arrive in Sakae, card still locked. FML- Starbucks latte + call to card company = unlocked. Relieved.

3.30 - Osu Kannon- Purchased the Kaworu wig spotted two days ago, not purchased at that time due to lack of cash monies. Somewhat thankful.

5:30- No red contacts in Osu - Kanayama. Dissapoint. 

6.00 - Dolleyes Kanayama - expensive, though anything for Shinji-kun, right? 時が来た。

6:13 - Dissapointing dinner alone in Kanayama. Carefully calorie counted to be less than 200 calories. Should have stayed in bed. Dismayed.

6:20 - Contacted by Mioko. Both homesick. Suggested Mum would like to see me. Mutual understanding. 

7:15 - Panorama Express to Agui. Hope?

8:00 - Tadaima. Patted Fran-chan. Hepled Mum make a wonderful Christmas feast. Mum loves my Kaworu Nagisa wig. :p Homeliness.

9:00 - Nanako arrived home. Enjoyed the Christmas feast with Mum, Nanako, Aunty, Grandma and Dad :). Enjoyed a 1998 red wine from Mount Pleasant NSW with the wonderful home cooked meal. Laughed a lot. Smiled a lot. Ate delicious local oranges for dessert and was warm by the heater and in good spirits with good company. Belonging. 

11:30 - Grandma and Aunty went home. Read all the wonderful messages from family and friends. Called Paws for the first time in forever. Remembered. 

12:00 - Shower. Generously lent clothes, towel, toothbrush, band-aid, phone charger, bed. Sleepy time. Extremely thankful.  

2:45 am - Posting and looking forward to wonderful adventures tomorrow. Thinking of you all. Sleepy.

Christmas in Japan

Went out to Sakae yesterday to photograph the interesting Christmas displays.

Japanese celebrate Christmas much as we celebrate valentines day, and New Years is celebrated like Christmas.


No idea what is up with the mustaches but they featured heavily in this shops decorations. I dig them. ^_^

Red,black, upsidown trees, Santa pandas, tree outfits and of course Christmas Cake shortcake which is marketed to couples, were among some of the fantastic odes to this Commercialitic  Christmas.



No matter how much my love of Japan, Christmas here always leaves me asking "Why?"


Despite occasional quaint mixes of Japanese style and Western theme which make me smile and are rather creative, the plastic waste of packaging, cheap trees, tacky decorations and outfits always seems to leave me feeling a little uneasy. Sure, we have some similar things in Australia, though we have also Christians and Pagans, people who bring a real rounded feeling to the holiday season and remind us of it's earthy and mystical roots. We celebrate as a family, how it should be.




Tonight is the Christmas party. Got up early, put on my silly obligatory antlers sent by Mum, got my obedient housewife face on,  made cookies. ^_^

Hope people like them.

Pics of the party will be posted once the hangover subsides....keep an eye out for them. 

甘さ

甘いものに甘い物でしょう

これはスーパーであった知らない男にもらえました。

今日(12月22日)は気持ちが色々あった日だった。朝のスピーチをやりたくない気持ち,お昼に自分の終了パーチーに遅刻したため,恥ずかしさがあったそれとスピーチ中泣き顔の悲しさ,スタバクスに行って先生達が書いたメセジを読む時に懐かしさ,それ後部屋に帰ったと少し鬱病の気持ちになってしまった.頑張ろう気持ちで出かけた. スパで会った知らない男にお菓子をもらった時に喜んだ.

たくさん泣いた，笑った，感じた日だった。