Home safely

Made it home, alive.

Have been beginning to work through the mountain of things necessary to continue life in Australia. Did not realize there were so very many things to complete. :( All IDs have expired. No Medicare, Proof of Age, Birth certificate, resume...nothing but a passport.

Looking forward to seeing many of my wonderful friends on Saturday and many others in the coming weeks. ^_^

Nuki is beyond amazing....seriously. 0.0 Thismorning we had french toast on the verandah. Even in the relative chaos of reorganizing it, life feels pleasant.
               So this is what happiness feels like.

Japan was an experience, full of memories and moments to be remembered, some wonderful and some to be left in the knowledge they are past. Shall never forget all those who made my experiences special. Friends, family and teachers who made my stay more pleasant and brought happiness into my life. Cannot wait to return once some more progress has been made here and look forward to catching up with many of you. Wishing you all happiness in every facet of your life.

Shall begin a new blog to document life in Australia, though it may very well go the way of the previous one in never being used. This however should not be taken as a negative, just as a sign that all those important in my life, all those with whom adventures are worth sharing, are close enough to hear them from me personally.

Until next blog, never cease learning, never forget to play and always seek happiness, true happiness.
(and please let me know if you wish for assistance in any of these <3 )


Love Belinda, Belinko, Beli-chan, Senti, Bastien, Lin.

1

Found myself going from elation to near tears every few minutes for most of the day.

Spent the morning with Taka at the art museum where we saw a selection of だまし絵 ( optical illusion) artworks, including works from Dali. We also managed to see some Carlo and Modigliani in the general section. Lunch was a sandwich at the park before Taka helped with that yet unsent box. 

Evening was the party and there was cake and tasty treats ^_^ Mum made a delicious dinner as always and the atmosphere was light and jovial. Felt like just another fantastic party at home and very unlike a goodbye. The cake read "see you soon".

Can't believe that there will be a plane leaving tomorrow for Australia with me on  it.

2

Brighter day today though still cold. Enjoying a kinoko and mozzarella melt and caramel latte at just about my favorite place on earth, Starbucks Kanayama.

Was stuck for presents for the family, though thismorning the perfect present came to mind. Coffee! My host father is an addict like me. 0.0 got the premium blend ( 50% off )

Off to Ohka today for the valentines party. ^_^ Not sure what time it is so shall just turn up super early to ask. ( ended up wandering for three hours looking for Bookoff but not finding it )

Starbucks for lunch. Tall maccha latte and salad.

Not long now, though there is still a box to send home. >.< Tomorrow is going to be jam packed. Mum suggested maybe an anko cake XD <3

 

Special thanks to my mother from Australia today who reassured me on multiple levels that everything is going to be alright. Shall have to work on minimizing and dealing with stress after the return to Australia.

 #photogenicasfcuk

(Can has stay super attractive for ever?)

Valentines party was pleasant and had fugu and shiitake mushrooms for dinner.

3

Cold and alone at home.

Managed to sort all my things into four piles. Suitcase. Book off. Box. Trash. 

Should be walking the dog but instead I'm drinking tea before the heater as recommended by the tanuki. Not useless, promise.

Also, I'm broke. Was broke last time too, though was moving in with Michelle last time so it did not matter. This time there are expectations. 

Feeling desperately confused and concerned for the future. How can things feel so dark today when yesterday was so bright? Music is helping and chatting to Mum and Luke was helpful. 

Tomorrow is the valentines party at Ohka Gakkuen, though will have to confirm the time. Let's hope tomorrow will be sunny.

4

The sun shon brightly in the clear blue sky, the pleasantly warm day greeting me, still surrounded by the still winter scenery. 

Upon hearing my reason for being unable to travel, lack of cash money,Mum left some money on the bench with a note. There is no way to thank my family enough for all they have done for me.

Breakfast of an-pan, one of the high quality strawberries Mum brought for us to enjoy and a hot chocolate. Japanese modern breakfast.

Tokoname during the day before Sakae and Osu thisevening. Packing can wait. Tokoname is on the way to the airport and though it's an unnerving feeling to be so close to my port of departure, Tokoname has become one of my favorite places in Japan as its pottery road is fascinating and ever surprising.

Just leaving Tokoname. Forgotten umbrella will hopefully be used by someone in need of an umbrella. ^_^ Met the most wonderful couple who own a shop called Hotaruko. While purchasing my tea pot ( of sorts), was treated to coffee and Momotaro sweets with Natsuko while patting Hotaruko ( the shop is named after their cat ). As Tadashi sang as he worked on Himedaki sculptures, realized this shop was once of those places on earth where happiness seems to overflow. All those bowls with the faces on them, they are from this shop. Tadashi was pleased to see the shop badge on my bag. Looking forward to going back upon my return to Japan.

Starbucks Kanayama then omairi to the local Inari ( fox) shrines to ask the foxes to protect Nagoya, my family and to please remember me. Osu Kannon, my home temple.

You know it's time to go home when you can walk into a Pokemon center and walk out without a purchase. :p

Home for a delicious vegitable dinner and dessert of apples with my family. Said night to the tanuki and now for an early bed ( 11:00) 

Not sure about monies as there are still many things to do before leaving. Chatted to Australian mum about this. So scared to come back to Australia. Everyone keeps saying that everything will be fine...though I'm not so sure.

5

 Things done 

- continued to sort items into box or suitcase

- walked Fran in the bitter cold wind 

- picked up plates ( they look good )

- loaded cash onto cash card

- finished the omede-tai - ate nabe and Kai from Hokkaido <3

- completed design for thankyou card 

- created coffee event for my return

 

Feeling 

 

- slightly more optimistic about my future 

- excited to see everyone 

- worried about Taka having no one to travel with

- frustrated at having no cash money to travel 

- lucky to have two wonderful families 

- still in love with the Japanese countryside 

- zen about this whole thing

6

Snowed thismorning, though by my walk the sky was blue. Peach blossoms are beginning to bloom as the world tempts to wake from winter. Feeling the seasonal circle close, departure feels so like my arrival. 

Things done 

- Party at ihouse and cried when saying goodbye to everyone ( we will meet again) 

- Nabe/ soba party with family thisevening 

- Received a call to say that my plates are fired and ready to pick up  

- Purschased things nessesary for thankyou card 

- Began to pack to leave - shall have plenty of room in my suitcase ^_^

- Documents nessesary before leaving completed 

Things to do 

- load cash onto cash card 

- pack and send box home 

- pack suitcase 

- Wednesday - Valentines party at Ohka Gakkuen 

- Thurday - Museum with Taka

- Thursday night - Gyoza party 

Feeling 

 

- Wondering about my choice to return to Australia.

- Worried about the future as the unknown is scary.

- Acckowledging that the alternative to returning home would mean a low paying job in Japan 

- Trying to put a positive spin on lack of progress ( Japanese level ) 

- Secretly optimistic thanks to certain individuals 

Thinking a post a day until my return would be a good idea.

もう蛙の

Apologies for the lack of posts recently. Be assured that Hokkaido was amazing, Universal Studios astounding and life with my family could not be better.

Last week in Japan now and with parties almost every night, and preparation still unfinished, there is much ado.

The tanuki continues to read to me nighty and we are currently enjoying Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice upon my request. 

Tonight will be my last time seeing the members of IHouse. Though much of my time with them was spent wandering somewhat aimlessly in my mind and between the comfort of home and IHouse for study, they are a wonderful bunch and shall be sad to leave them. Hardest of all will be Yoshida-san, the carer of IHouse who now keeps my previous Sai-chan. 

Enevitability, the same that brought me back to Japan, will again take me away. Enevitability that reminds me that all troubles will end eventually , holds that pleasant things will do likewise.

So much learned. So much yet to learn.

Here we go, last time through the days.

金、土、日、月、火、水、木、

Next week they will have a different name.

Shall hopefully post once more before leaving so keep an eye out for that last post. ^_^ 元気でね

Long time no post

Well, everything to be sent is sent and everything to be tidied has been tidied. Living with my host family again which may explain my lack of posts. No need to post from heaven. ^_^ Will also release my previous two posts that are still unfinished as you may wish to read them despite their incompletion.

 Sent my ailing computer Charmander home to Australia as it would only prove a burdon with it's overheating and resulting battery problems, thus no more pretty photos until my return home. My apologies for that.

Has been an interesting few weeks since finishing the semester just before Christmas. Mostly just enjoying some slow time in which to think which has been pleasant beyond belief. Getting stuck into some new manga and back into my adventuring. Rearranged my Pandora bracelet and took a trip to Tokoname to buy a new bowl to fill the place left by one that, much to my dispair, broke a few weeks ago

Currently reading -

Noragami 

Mahotsukai no tsuma (Magicians Wife)

Devils and Realist 

Bloody Mary 

Today included reading at Starbucks for 3 hours (finished almost two manga) followed by an adventure to the biggest Book Off in Nagoya, Jingu Mae. 

17th-19th. This weekend I'm heading up Mt Koya (finally) for the weekend, leaving on Saturday at 8:00am from Nagoya station and returning at 4:00pm on Monday. Decided to take the kintetsu to give more manga reading and window gazing time.

20th is my last official day of living in IHouse and thus a trip shall have to be made to hand over the keys and say bye bye. Not particularly sad as here feels more home than there ever could have and all my things have already been removed from the room.

21st will see me heading into my old school Ooka Gakkuen after a meeting with Hiramatsu-sensei ( Hirama-chan) on 12th. Really looking forward to catching up with any remaining teachers from 2009 and meeting the new students who only know me from stories. ^_^ Legands if you will. 

22nd Misato is coming over and we will make gyoza for everyone and various handicrafts. Planning to buy some felt as it's always fun to work with.

Wishing to head to Universal Studios to view a special Evangelion ride from the 23rd, though not sure which day.

Many thanks to those two continue to read my blog and a special thanks to my little sister Ainsley for the hand painted card. ^_^ Shall try to keep you up to date with my adventures, though minus the pretty pictures. Sorry >.<

New Years + Music close to my heart

New Year's Day 

It's snowing again. Thismorning and yesterday it was sunny and fine, blue skies all around, though just now it began to snow. 

We feasted on many things including oseiji ryouri, the box of assorted foods to welcome in the New Year.

Omairi - hatsumode- first temple visit for the year

Waking up at 4:30, departing at 5:30. Snow still fluttering about as we climbed into the minivan, 6 people had become 5 as Aunty was unwell with a cold. Listened to music from the moment we left, watching the crisp, fresh snow be revealed gradually by the rising sun, it's colours a glorious wash of colour from the deep blue of morning. One of the most beautiful sunrises of my existance so far proving to be an apt beginning to what would become one of the most profound days of my existance so far.

Listening to Alex's music mix, each song unlocking access to moments and memories and allowing the chance for quiet reflection. Please allow me to share some with you. ( roughly half)

Thousand Beautiful Things - Annie Lennox:  the struggle to get up each day those first few homesick weeks. 

Who Are We Fooling - Brooke Fraiser: understanding the heartbreak of Jamie. 

For Today I Am A Boy - Antony and the Johnson's: the truth that it's perfect fine to be Bastien, the genderqueer.

Memories Of Green - Vangelis and Oror/Lullaby - Isabel Bayrakdarian:  my calm on those late nights half asleep completing homework.

Radar - Katie Noonan: facing the truth on the flight over, looking out to the little red light on the wing, realising it's no longer in my power to physically hug my friends when my only wish may be to do so. 

A Coral Room - Kate Bush:  those memories from childhood that will always stay with me. Knowing that those memories are never far away.

Idaho - Nerina Pallot:  hopes leaving Canberra.Escape from a painful place to find myself in this new chapter in Japan.

The Beautfiul Girls & Girls - Asian Envy:  walking through Osu Kannon in Lolita, World Cosplay and crouds wearing my quirky yet stylish fashion and knowing everyone can see my desired western features.

Off the Dancefloor - Junkie XL:  that evening at Cube with Alex. :D

The Golden Path - The Chemical Brothers:  that feeling like tredding in the middle of my exchange when that Golden Path seemed to have completely vanished.

Taking My Time - Asian Envy: Few months in, towards the beginning of exams, my reminder to look after myself and not to panic.

Nothing Really Matters - Madonna:  the recent revelation of the truth in this song. Reflections on how nothing will be as helpful in overcoming past issues as progress towards a brighter future with the pasts lessons in mind. 

Give Me Love - Ed Sheeran: Facing a year virtually alone,  this song reminded me in those brief moments allowed to feel, that my shut away heart was still yearning for love. 

Ever So Lonley - Sheila Chandra: Seperation anxiety.

Into The West - Annie Lennox: that moment at 5am when the sky is beginning to lighten, my head finally hitting the pillow after a hard night study.

The Careless Kind - Infusion: Complete loss of caring, loss of emotion during those middle months. 

The Ghost Inside - Broken Bells: That point of submersion. Giving up being happy for the sake of causing as little frustration to the Japanese people. Desire to be cookie cutter. Loss of self.

Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap: lying on the carpet in the sun, wondering what was happening to me...feeling like the sun hiding behind a dark cloud. But knowing this was nessesary.

Kaval Sviri - touching something brighter, like light beams through those clouds. Often danced. ^_^

Another World - Antony and the Johnsons: Placing Australia into a box, piece by piece during those first few months. Hoping it would be worth it.  

The Irrepressibles - Two Men in Love: reminded me of beauteous love, wishing to proclaim it to the world, though fearing the danger that bond would face.  Love this song so much.

Don't a Give Up -Peter Gabriel: Tears on the pillow. Long nights of deep thoughts. That quiet voice in the cold loneliness. 

Love Me like a River Does & Deep Within The Corners Of My Mind - Melody Gardot: Dreams of that love, soft and continuous. "Just be my friend" ( You know who you are)

Trout Heart Replica - Amanda Palmer & Grand a Theft Orchestra: those days questioning myself. " Am I a bad person?" 

Forget the Past - The Irrepressables: Coming to terms with the heartache bit by bit. Closer than my first desperate flee at the beginning of the year, though still in the process of viewing the grief. This song speaks your name, despite not being able to speak it myself for many months.

Beauty of All Things - George: Small happinesses in each day that kept me going.

Stay - Rihanna: such a powerful song. My love, this one is for us.

Closer - Lovers Electric: Paws.

Into my arms - Katie Noonan & Karin Schaupp: Failing my test, coming home, calling you to apologise for my failings, though you just told me everything was going to be alright. The sunlight was bright through my tears. 

Have To Drive - Amanda Palmer: Losing control of my fantastic logic and ability to make myself happy.

Struggle - How To Dress Well: Beginning of second semester realizing that one semester of struggle was over, though another was soon to begin. 

The Enchantment - Sheila Chandra: my beyond wonderful friend Alex and his encouragement. You always call me Senti, the spirit fox, reminding me of my most beloved form and it's glory. So grateful.

Carmen - Lana Del Rey: reminded me of myself. Carmen. Hiding from intense pain behind this seemingly perfect always smiling facade. 

Take My Soul - Theivery Corperation: explanation is very dark, though somewhat obvious considering the song title. Ask me separately if you wish to know.  

Heart's A Mess - Katie Noonan & Karen Schaupp : Dear tanuki, this is the song of this point in the exchange. 

Hometown Glory - Adele: end of summer holidays, contemplating the concept of "home" and realizing my lack of one. Consoling this thought returning from life with family to my solitary dorm room.

あけましたおめ〜でとう

新年あけましておめでとう皆様。

Spending New Years with my wonderful family, the same warm and welcoming family that 2010 was welcomed with. My host family and their extended family trusted me with their ikebana this year. Feeling rather flatted.

Awoke at 10:30 yesterday morning to fulfil a promise to wash the giant black stone at the center of my families house. Was quite a lot of scrubbing though with all my effort (一生懸命) it became very shiny and finally game me a chance to touch the stone. Achievement unlocked. 

After completing the rock cleaning, flower arranging and sweeping all the floors, Nakako and myself waxed all the floors. This was also quite a task, though Mum was more than pleased with our effort and it felt good to know we helped. 

To feel this sense of belonging is truly a wonderous thing, especially after a difficult few months which left me pondering the very nature of "home". We ate sukiyaki, we laughed, we felt like a family and it felt like home. ^_^

Just got home from hatsumode ( first shrine visit of the year) which began at 12:30 after watching the New Years music special on tv, then changing into my New Years sheep jacket which had been my project for the past few days.

As we were the last visitors before they closed, the first shrine gave us extra servings of warm azuki and mochi :D. At the second shrine Nanako and myself had sake and were given chocolates. The third shrine was small and we ate ika.

Instead of wishing everyone well a set 12 month period , my thinking is to extend that positive thinking to remind everyone that there will always be someone wishing for their happiness in every moment in this loneliness epidemic.

Wishing for your happiness always. ^_^

"Happiness, I wish you happiness. Truthful, uplifting, fulfilling happiness in every aspect and every century, decade, year, week, day, second, moment of your life."

10:46 - Facebook 

Special thanks for 2014

This is Luke English, otherwise known as Nuki-sama, Saka or bakanuki. My continued existence over the past few months has been to a large extent, thanks to this guy. Though many have contributed to helping me through this time of learning both academic and personal, there should be special thanks afforded to such a dedicated and outstandingly positive influence in my life. Nuki listened to my winging and reassured me even when things were dark, that we would have brighter days. Thankyou for your time, for the books, for your patience, for the company, thankyou for your existance. 

Hoping for your continued companionship on my travels through life.